00 Day
Started like this: one day someone told me that a woman needs her own cabin and money to write fiction. It turns out that life as it is hasn't been enough for me for a long time. Learning to make with what I have often means becoming the protagonist for lack of actors, and I begin to live a fiction when I give myself a less tedious metaphor – to name what I do. People free themselves and become directors precisely because they lack direction. I said to myself: stop being a project and become the director. Stop being a project and become the direction. When you have your own cabin, you can do anything. Find the right tools and learn how to use them. This is my answer: I asked what people most want to see on an artist's website in a poll on my social media. The answer was unanimous: a logbook.
Yesterday I did tufting for the first time, on a friend's studio balcony. We assembled a 1m x
1m frame and this is what came out; it's the back of the piece. I'm not going to switch to tufting. It was just a weekend project. I've been looking at things that are far more interesting than that.
01 Day
How many hats do i have? the last time someone said to me that Sao Paulo has two faces like coin, they said because they want to play and know which face will I use. I said - "i dont have many faces just this beautiful one, but yes I have many hats". Many hats came as you work with research and needs to aply what you found first for testing, prototype before assume something to someone of the field. Many hats will come when different people from different areas ask what they need to make in bettwen felds - intersections. Its kind of a border object sociology says when you have kind of different readings and names depending on each point of view, about the same thing. Thats why one hat isnt enought. I love that actually, i saw that many times in mans on corporate situations, but was masks they change - often in planes and airports.
02 Day
One of most difficult thing in negotiation is trying to guess and say first. But always, always, if you say first you loses. I don´t know why never say first helped me all the time about numbers, but when the subject of negociation is a project scope, like, what will you want to do for the next year as main and personal goal, the person in front of me nevers agree. This is a falt. Not mine, but of the ones that lack of transparence about their desires. I dont want ot assume here that I know what everybody wants when the vector is I, but i assume the proximity is somethig that could be a certain point a good reaction of fate for a future exploration of possibilites. And say you want a family with me on the 3th date is several, is lovebombing already. Love takes time, and I dont know you who is reading this but, I prefer “yes” after the 3th mounth, maybe 3th year. And i am focused on my purpose. (Dam it, who the hell put this in my head?!)
03 Day
About family: I'm the eldest of three siblings. My two brothers followed the same path as my parents; both married women they met in college, had children, and started businesses with their spouses. I didn't follow the same model, but I arrived at something similar at the beginning. I moved to a different city and went to live with a life partner in the same field as me, and we created a brand. When you're the eldest daughter, it seems like you need to be the role model, the example for the younger ones to follow. In my case, my parents already had a plan for their children and many activities involved in that preparation. I just wanted to retire at 16. When you retire from your parents, you need to find another model, your own model, a story just for me, one that satisfies me. When I'm sad, a little downcast, I read the things I wrote on my Instagram profile and laugh a lot, I burst out laughing. Because it's true, I did. but it sounds like a superhero story; that's how I want to believe I can live my life. When I was 14, the father of a very close friend told me: “You know you can be whoever you want to be, right?!”
04 Day
Artists are like antennas; we can't simply "let go" of an idea or intuition. It's something that comes from afar, another country, another life, another story that crossed paths with ours at some random corner. We pick up on everything, especially the more visual ones, like me. There are many people, and I wish most understood that the best way to cultivate new things is simply to be alone, without so much interference, without so much noise. Sometimes people don't understand that I won't have an answer, gesture, or song for everything they provoke. I prefer to play dead, to pretend to be stunned, to be silly, to be crazy, or anything else, but not to wear down the relationship.
05 Day
Artists match their vibes by their work. Some research may even be copied, but never the paths to reaching conclusions. When you have someone presenting an idea to a group of people the size of a classroom, another person may be presenting the same thing in an exhibition using a sculpture. Of course, the medium and the form matter, but so does the insertion. Insertion. Insertion. Insertion. It's not like composition or context. It's almost like access, for a select few and precisely punctual, and it has everything to do with timing.
06 Day
Regarding being the first artist in the family: it's difficult, but you find support in your great-aunts uncles, who recognize when you're doing well in guitar lessons, when your father shows up at a chamber music performance once in a blue moon and again the following year. But it's true, you need to forge a path never before trodden. And more than stage presence, you need to learn how to stay on track, eat properly, pay the rent, until you receive that email from someone who saw you as the new talent for the next program. It's true, you'll take the path that pays you the most, whenever you have the least money in your account. It's true, they'll negotiate your entire idea to make it theirs. It's also true that you'll please few, be on the lips of many, and in some rooms you've never even entered, there's a picture of you on the wall.
07 Day
There's something serious about being a female artist wanting to make both physical and digital games. It seems like the ultimate path, the way out. There's a new proposition for me here. I like interactive stories, the kind that people build together. Along with that, the idea that participating in a writers' room with a few people writing a script for a film might seem far-fetched, especially coming from the field of product design where the creative structure is different. But apparently games give you everything: the unlimited possibility of exploring all your creative forms as a multidisciplinary artist, the possibility of a non-linear script and some alternative endings, and feedback from someone who followed a trajectory from beginning to end, learning the values I want to convey. So, between Art Education and Cinema, there's a very beautiful interest called game-based learning.
08 Day